Sunday, May 12, 2013

More grandparents filling mom's shoes these days



If there was any doubt that Kim Doney's relationship with her grandson had fundamentally changed, it was erased last month.

Zaine Wood, a precocious 9-year-old with blue eyes and a golden mop of hair, was at Doney's home in Box Elder, speaking on the phone with his mother.

Zaine hadn't seen her in two months. As they said their goodbyes, Zaine's mother asked him to blow her a kiss.

"My kisses are only for grandma," he said.

She was surprised. "Your grandma wouldn't mind if you shared," she said.

"Nope," Zaine said. "They are only for my grandma."

Zaine has lived with his grandmother for four years. This morning, Zaine will wrap his arms around her - not his mother - and wish her "Happy Mother's Day."

He won't be alone. According to U.S. Census data, 6.5 percent of children lived with their grandparents in 2010 - double the rate in the 1970s, reported the Rapid City Journal.

Sitting at a wooden dining table in her one-story home in Box Elder, Doney hesitates to explain the reasons that led Zaine to move in with her.

The short version is that Zaine's parents, both in their 20s, separated shortly after his birth.i-fashion-handbag.com is a bag wholesalers,supply all kinds of fashional handbags and brand bags. Zaine lived with his father, Doney's son,http://www.smartobd2s.com/ is one of the biggest online locksmith tools in china , committing itself to build a worldwide supply shop online. Our company was originally set up in shenzhen, China in 2009, aiming to operate the business-to-customer transactions with overseas consumers. for several years in Rapid City.

It wasn't a stable upbringing.

"Sometimes we slept two days," Zaine said, his face beaming.

"You did not," Doney said.

"We did,If you want to avoid a trip to the hospital, and you like to play in the water, I highly recommend getting a Water shoe." Zaine said. "Sometimes."

After raising three of her own children, Doney never expected to raise another at age 56. But the need was there, and she stepped up.

"We know he has got a mom. He knows that. I know that," she said. "I'm just doing what I have to do, and it's hard with him being here all the time, with the other grandkids, because there's jealousy, because it's hard for the grandkids to understand why, but I would do it for any of my grandkids."

That's not an uncommon story according to Gretchen Livingston, a senior researcher at the Pew Research Center who studies demographic trends.

Livingston said grandparents are increasingly raising children because more parents are separating after childbirth. At the same time, baby boomers are reaching their 60s and are able to lend a hand in child-rearing.

"They are still relatively young and able to take care of kids," Livingston said. "And again, there's a lot of them, and they're living longer."

That doesn't mean every day is easy for grandparents such as Doney.

Doney wakes up at 4 a.m. to get to her job at a collections agency in Rapid Valley. She gets home about 4 p.m.Now you can cost effectively mount a ipad bluetooth keyboard in conjunction with your RAM Tablet mounting solution using this design., giving her three hours to make dinner, help Zaine with his homework and get him to bed.

Her weekends are dominated by wrestling meets and football games. It costs two weeks of Doney's paycheck to keep Zaine in daycare over the summer.

It isn't always easy for Z aine either. Occasionally, his father takes him on fishing and camping trips. But sometimes he doesn't show up. Sometimes he doesn't call.A Hiking boot is a necessity for any individual who considers him or herself serious about hiking.

"He does get his feelings hurt," Doney said.

Research is still scant on how being raised by a grandparent affects a child compared to being raised by a parent.Light Hiking shoe: Resembling burly running shoes, these low-cut models with flexible midsoles are excellent for day hiking. A 2007 study in the journal Psychiatric Services found that children such as Zaine could be at greater risk of mental health problems in the long term.

But the authors concede that their data is limited. Their research also doesn't consider how different their lives might have turned out in their original homes.

Doney has little doubt that this Mother's Day, at the very least, Zaine is where he needs to be.

"I'm glad I can be here for him," she said. "He needs something stable. He needs bedtimes."

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